I went to a mommy and me yoga class a few months back and the instructor had us participate in a little sharing sesh where we introduced ourselves and our babies. Most of their stories went something like, “Hi, my name is Gretchen and Allison here is 8 months old. We meditate together every morning after sharing a bowl of organic rolled oats. She has already read all of the Harry Potter books…aloud. She likes long walks on the beach and will most likely start college soon. She also sleeps through the night and has 20 teeth.” Meanwhile, I was over yonder yanking on Ari’s arm to keep her on our mat and from crawling over to the momma + little boy next to us. Huffing and puffing like the closest we got to meditating was when I prayed for the Lord to give me strength to endure Ari’s never ceasing screaming in the back seat on the drive over!
I also follow this DIY mom on the instagrams and she has 6 kids…SIX. This wonderlady posts a DIY fixer-upper for her gorgeous (and spotless) farmhouse just about every week. Like what sorcery is this?! Who did you sell your soul to and are they looking for more?
All of this to say: I’ve been in a rut lately. I feel like I do a lot, but nothing gets done. I chase a lot. I feed a lot. I wash bottles a lot; I blow bubbles, hunt ladybugs, and read picture books a lot but I can’t say I fold clothes a lot… or vacuum enough… or that the bathroom is spotless often. And that is hard for me. I want something to show for my exhaustion at night like: look. listen here. I am exhausted this evening because I did a, b, c, and d. But my clean baby tonight will need a bath at the same time tomorrow and my tasty dinner will be transformed into dirty dishes within the hour. The cleared floor will be a toy graveyard after pattering feet momentarily bring them to life again in the morning. Early morning.
Although I don’t think I will ever achieve the level of finessed momhood that the yoga moms and the DIYers have reached, I can say my baby is healthy and happy. I have no reason to complain (but if you have figured out a way to feel rested with 4 hours of sleep… slide through my DMs). In this season of life, I can’t really describe what I am doing as “thriving”, but we are certainly getting by. So shout out to my mommas out there getting by. I’m told it gets easier… and I’m proud of you.
-Ari & I