juggling sweet potatoes

As previously mentioned, my daughter hates eating during the day. However, once in a blue moon I get to feed her during waking hours. So when she shows interest in her bottle during daylight, we drop everything. It’s like watching a white jaguar…on its hind legs, juggling sweet potatoes. I don’t question it. I don’t interrupt. I don’t talk. I try not to make eye contact. I barely breathe.

I tip her into the crook of my arm and hope she can handle at least 4 oz. Because desire to eat is seldom expressed (thus making me ill prepared for such a rare event), I am sometimes caught in uncomfortable positions. Sometimes she will be laying on her back in her crib with me doubled over and on my tip toes to accommodate her. Earlier today, the way I tilted her back trapped her tiny hand in my underarm. She has a tendency to pat or lightly scratch her caretaker’s back during a feeding and today was no different… except for the placement of the hand.

Old habits die hard, so she proceeded to gently wiggle her hand around to get into a good position to scratch. It began to tickle. After a while, I was silently laughing to the point of tears and heaving shoulders. All of this goes unnoticed by Ari, for she has already closed her eyes in relaxation. Remember: no noise. I mustn’t scare her off. So I look away in what can only be described as the most painless type of agony. At this point, the only thing I am grateful for is that no one can see us. Oh the plethora of ridiculous moments this girl induces.

-A&I

Sleep. Or lack there of.

Ari is almost six months old. She sleeps at least 10 hours every night. However, she wakes up at least three times to consume a bottle during this period as well.. This behavior was one I assumed would be tapering off at this stage of my daughter’s life. False. For a week when she was but a wee young thing, she slept for a stretch of six hours every night. Long gone are said days.

For some reason, I don’t feel as exhausted as I used to. I think I’m just getting used to running on less. Adaption at its finest. Survival of the fittest. (That’s another thing I expected to be “handled” by now–my weight. For I am not the fittest. Far from it in fact, but we’ll save that for another post.) I know I’m getting better at this no sleep trend because I don’t cry at the end of non sad movies. Yeah, that was a thing.. I cried at the end of Erin Brockovich. Because of the song that plays during the credits: something along the lines of everyday is a winding road.. That catchy song that came out around Y2K. Haha. Remember that? And let me tell you…that day the road was winding, long, and riddled with potholes. That and the sleep deprivation had me bawling like a baby.

Even though one night of rest without being woken up every 3-4 hours sounds amazing, I’m sure it would make my girl act differently. She eats so much at night because she hates eating during the day. She wants nothing to get in the way of being on the go. And that notion, I find completely hilarious. She wants to constantly be up in the mix. She literally suffers from FOMO (fear of missing out). As exhausting as that sounds, that is who she is and my comfort does not compare to her being her true self. I never want my daughter to compromise her identity for anyone else-not even me.

And on that note, I’m off to bed because little miss will be up in an hour or two.

-A&I